YOU can’t Change other people but you can change YOU

I’ve seen a lot of quotes and statuses recently talking about the way others treat us, how people try so hard to make effort with others and get nowhere, give help even when they are at their lowest only to receive nothing back when they need it the most, being judged, excluded, and being brought down.

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To those people and anyone else who is reading this and feeling this way, you cannot change them, you can only change yourself. I wondered for a long time what does that mean? and how can I change if I’m doing the best I can already?, what more could I possibly do? We are made to believe that to be a good person we must love these people anyway because no one is perfect and we should be compassionate, forgiving and all the rest of it, well I misunderstood this completely, it’s not OK to let people continue to treat us like dirt, it’s not OK to let people exclude and ignore your children, yes forgive and you don’t have to hold a grudge and you can still love them but if it’s affecting your life then you need to change! Here’s how..

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Remove those people from your life you may not be the most popular person with your decision and it surely isn’t easy but let me tell you the relief is worth it, you do not need to be surrounded by other people’s negativity towards you or your family, who aren’t going to give even a small amount as much as they keep taking, who are going to talk about you behind your back or tell you how to parent because they think they know better than you, it grinds you down, it certainly did to me, through some of our worst times these kind of people just added to it with no thought or care to how we were feeling at the time, it not only affected me but my whole family life, I needed to remove myself from people and situations and make the hurt stop. My kids especially with their difficulties need people around them who love and care for them, not that are going to judge, exclude and make fun of them. We all need this! And this is how we change ourselves, it’s how I changed towards people who clearly weren’t going to, to some it may sound harsh but myself, my hubby and my kids wellbeing comes first before anything else. I want my children to know how it’s unacceptable to treat people this way, I want them to grow up with good people in their life who will make them feel good about themselves when they are around them, not bad or inferior. So surround yourself instead with people who do care, who are positive and who are there for you when you need it the most, focus your time and energy on them, you will find them they are there, be there for them. it’s amazing how much your whole life can improve. I understand it’s hard especially when it’s family or someone you care about deeply but it’s worth it.

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Every aspect of our life has improved we may not have a lot of people in it right now but those people are the best people I know, they are always there, sometimes when things are tough we have to step up and be there for them more but we know roles revesersed they would do the same and certainly have done. They support us with our children and most importantly love our children, support our business and our way of life. Any relationship is a two way street and requires effort. Instead of feeling negative about it and how everyone’s the same, the world is doomed or best not make friends with anyone because they will only end up treating you like a piece of dirt, we have opened up ourselves for new friendships, our whole outlook is much more positive and there is no more tears of hurt or days spent worrying what others think or what someone said because we know what the people who truly know and love us think and that’s all that matters.

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I love being surrounded by these positive people, in our business, social and personal life, it’s amazing what a difference it makes to them we say.. We love you all, we thank you for your kindness, your help, your understanding and to those that encourage us to be better people. We have seen such a great support from the people in our business from all around the world this week as we launched our first video explaining part of our story, it was incredibly difficult for me to do, not just the speaking on the camera but also the subject, but with help and encouragement of those around me I did it.

I came across this infographic and thought it could be applied to every asspect of our lives.

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23 thoughts on “YOU can’t Change other people but you can change YOU

  1. I used to stress so much about what others thought. I had that desire for acceptance and closure from people who didn’t like me. I was younger then. Now I don’t care. People are out for themselves, you;re just a drop in the ocean and often it isn’t personal. Otherwise, you cannot help those who don’t want to be helped and some people will just dislike you for unfounded reasons. Do you!

    1. Yes definitely! I tried so hard too be accepted by some people but there came a point where enough was enough my younger self probably wouldn’t have been able to walk away. I have no clue why some people dislike me and they can continue to do so but it won’t affect me anymore, it’s so refreshing 🙂

  2. I love this post. I used to stress about what others thought about me, trying me best to make a great impression every single time. Now, I fully embrace myself. I know I might not be everyone’s cup of tea but who cares. I embrace me and will be myself. Well said post.

  3. I love these quotes & This post. I can’t help but to stress so much, I try daily not to but I can’t help it. I think it is just the way i’m wired.

  4. The title of this post says it all for me and it is so true, I have removed many people whom I view ‘Toxic’ from my life and am happier having done so x

  5. I learnt a while back that always pleasing others doesn’t no one happier especially if they are not doing anything for you in your life.

  6. You are so right! And until we change ourselves things outside won’t change, as we create that which is outside as a projection of our thoughts.
    Thanks for sharing!

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